Don't Not Come Over

I have had a longstanding theory that every person who is trying to sell something on Kijiji is also a person that has never used the Internet before. I think it’s about time I try to prove this. Or at the very least, demonstrate why I believe this so strongly.

The very first incident I’ve ever experienced with crazy Kijiji people is when Hollie tried to buy a bike, back in 2008. Every time Hollie tried to get the address or phone number of where she would be going to pick up the bike, the man (who wrote in CAPS LOCK) would freak out and think she was trying to “steal his information”. There must have been 20 emails sent back and forth, and Hollie never got the damn bike.

I jokingly wrote to him about the bike after Hollie had such trouble, and he seemed as equally suspect of me. (Although, asking him for his bank account might have contributed to that).


The bike is not really important though. Do you know what is kind of monumentally important? This guy was the entire reason Hollie and I ever started writing to each other in CAPS LOCK. It started by joking about this guy, and has continued for THREE YEARS.

Next up, please don’t arrest me sir, I just want to buy my friend an Atari.


Seriously right? Here’s the deal: our dear friend Gary was looking for an Atari, and we wanted to get him on as a thank you gift. The only decent one we could find him was in Kingston. I messaged this seller ONE TIME and asked if it would be possible for him to ship me the Atari. I offered to send him the money upfront via paypal or a cheque, and pay for shipping as well.

Update: Gary has since found his own Atari.

And this brings us to yesterday. I found a semi-decent couch on Kijiji. Nothing I loved too much, but it would do. The ad was a little old, so I messaged the seller to see if it was still available.


What is going on here? Why is it listed on Kijiji if you don’t want to sell it? Why are you telling me to “don’t not come over”? Why are you trying to make me carry your bed couch upstairs for you?

I wasn’t going to reply, but Hollie had a better idea. She crafted a response:


Hilarious right? I thought she would get the hint. BUT SHE DID NOT. At least this email came complete with pictures of the notorious bed couch!


And a couple hours later after I didn’t respond, she sent a follow up. Look ma, more bed couch pictures!


I rest my case.